, ,

All by myself….I refuse to feel sorry for myself!

So I never thought I would be a single middle aged woman. But by no choice of my own…here I am. I could certainly write about my fears and feelings of failure. But I refuse! I am a woman. I am single, but I am capable of accomplishing all of my dreams….all by myself. You see, I’m a glass half full kind of woman.

Today I pulled up my big girl panties, grabbed a pair of work gloves, my ball cap and told myself you can do this.

Over the last year I’ve been planning on building a garbage bin enclosure. I had an idea in my head of what I wanted it to look like. I don’t have a lot of experience in actual construction. To tell you the truth….none. Unless you count crafting.

I am so thankful for my step son, who is a contractor, who stopped by the house the other day. I showed him my rough sketches and explained my idea to him.

After a 15 minute conversation, he gave me a list of materials and told me he would return when he had time to help me set the posts and talk me through the construction. I looked at him for a few seconds and then asked him if setting the post involved more then digging a hole, placing the post in the hole, and filling it with concrete. He answered, “well no.” I proudly told him I could do it. He provided a few pointers, scrunched his shoulders, and hopped in his truck. I waved at him and told him I loved him. As he drove away I couldn’t help feel excited and scared shitless all at once.

My life has been a long repeated list of me stubbornly announcing “I can do it” followed by a brief regretful feeling of fear. I constantly question myself, can I actually do it? But hell, what is the worst thing that could happen? I could give it a try and if I failed I could try again. Or better yet, I could give it a try and do a kick ass job. When I look back at the path of my life this last statement sums it up. Put one foot in front of the other.
Sometimes it involves jumping both feet in, being scared, being excited, and succeeding in life.

One of my favorite posters has a quote and a photo of a small girl with the words “What if I fall? Oh, but darling, what if you fly?” written above the little girl.

Ta Da! Posts are in and level😊